Where did November go?

Thirty days of November, zero posts at the clamber blog. We know, we know: you're very disappointed in us. Allow us to update you on the last month or so.

• Sam grew a foot. Okay, not quite, but he hasn't exactly gotten smaller either. It's not really possible to lose weight when you're shoveling macaroni and cheese into your mouth with two hands. Our son has grown rather fond of grown-up food and quite averse to being fed with a spoon by his parents. He wants whatever we're eating He wants it now. He wants it placed on his tray so that he can grab it himself. Thankfully, the boy has started picking up sign language. Meaning that instead of insistently banging his tray to demand food from our plates, he now insistently gesticulates with his hands demanding food from our plates. That's manners, everybody.
  
• Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf declared a period of emergency rule, and the constitution temporarily suspended. This did not go over well with Pakistanis, and there was some violence. If you recall, President Bush has been temporarily suspending the constitution here for several years. Of course, good Americans know that criticizing the President during a time of war would be incredibly unpatriotic. We're trying to explain this distinction to our child, but he's understandably confused.
  
• The Bears' season officially ended. What's that you say? They have three games left still? Well, our house likes to think of the season as officially over. We're all moving on.
• Meanwhile, our household is having a much harder time moving on from the writers strike in Hollywood. No one at 3540 W. Pierce has watched "The Daily Show" or "Colbert Report" in quite some time. Amber occasionally suffers convulsions and foaming at the mouth as a result. Sam does this too, but - let's be honest - that's nothing new.
• Speaking of Sam, he celebrated his first Thanksgiving. He took a nap after dinner, but that really had nothing to do with excessive eating or tryptophan.
• [Insert jokes about the NASCAR championship here.]
• Amber turned...well...Amber celebrated her thirt...I mean...she had a birthday. Nevermind the actual age. We celebrated by visiting our dear friends Kate and Evan in Washington D.C. We all served in Peace Corps together in Tonga, but there are some differences with our gatherings these days. Let's see: better food, TV, fewer bugs, no half-day church services, less pigs gathering outside our back door. That's a good summary of why visits are more fun now.
• The Evil Empire (New England Patriots) remains undefeated. This is what Dylan Thomas spoke of when he wrote "Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." We tried to explain to Sam that sometimes evil people win, but he's struggling with that whole concept. We recommended the Book of Job, but he's struggling with that as well.
  
• Obama took the lead in Iowa polls of likely voters in January's caucus. Sam was encouraged to hear that good people have a chance at winning also.
• Ohio State is going to the National Championship game, but we're trying not to get excited about it. (Please refer to last year's National Championship game.)
• If anyone says "Good job" to anyone at any time in any context, Sam WILL hear them and he WILL begin clapping his hands. He is very enthusiastic about clapping, so you've been officially warned.
  
• The Republicans had a YouTube Presidential debate. Here's a handy dandy summary. Tancredo is confused. Huckabee is articulate and funny...until you read his views on public policy. Romney does not answer questions. Guiliani was once a very successful mayor in New York; everything was perfect there, a complete Utopia that the entire country can now share. Thompson is very old, and he often grunts unintelligibly (somehow this has allowed him to pick up much younger women). McCain makes a good deal of sense, but he seems rather tired of enduring politics for this long. Who can blame him, really? Ron Paul is leading a revolution, but it's a very small revolution so you might not have heard about it yet. Hunter scares me a great deal, but I haven't decided whether it's his beady eyes or his fascination with rifles. So there you have it: If Clinton wins the nomination, one of these men will be President. Obama, anyone?
• Strangely, Sam did not clap during Bears games or the Republican Presidential debate. He did applaud Cheerios, however. For those keeping track at home, that's Cheerios: 1, pathetic Bears losses and old white guys: 0. Fair enough.
• It snowed. Samuel responded to this turn of events with wide-eyed awe, and we were reminded of how we should view life that way more often. Then we remembered that "The Daily Show" wouldn't be on no matter how positive we tried to be. Life sucks sometimes.

- Cliff