My fellow Americans,
In this time of war and divisive politics, of strained budgets and a burdened middle class, of spit-up and poopy diapers, I have made a decision that will greatly affect the future of my family, my country and my world. The road will not be easy, but the path of hope never is. Never before in my life have I been so convinced that things needed to change...that I could be a part of that change in some small way. And so I, Samuel Cooksey Johnson (a Presidential name, if I do say so myself) will throw my support behind a candidate who just may lead this nation to someplace more unified, more decent, more daring. I cannot technically vote in the 2008 election, but I live in Chicago so anything is possible really. I hereby announce my support for Barack Obama's candidacy for President of these United States.
God bless America.